Not Too Perfect

Just the other day, my friend (who has a beautiful 2 month old little boy) asked me 'how I am able to get it all done in a day.' My answer was something like 'keeping to a schedule... blah, blah, blah... eating earlier then we used to... blah, blah, blah.' Well later that evening I started thinking that though I would like to feel like I DO get it all done everyday (and my answer sure made it sound like I do)... I really don't! I'm not perfect! Shocking I know. I realized that I don't know a single person who truly gets it all done every day. It's impossible! On any give night we try and prioritize what's important (eating diner together, reading bedtime books, bath time, relaxing...) and all the other stuff either happens, or is doesn't! I mean, there are nights when the dishes might sit in the sink, we might order burritos instead of a home cooked meal, the hair on the floor gets ignored, the husband isn't always as 'happy' as he could be, the dog might not get out for a walk, and the laundry might get wrinkled as it's waiting to get folded. But the truly important things get taken care of. And at the end of the day we are all (most of the time) still smiling.
With that in mind... I started thinking about being that 'perfect mom' and how I fail sometimes. I mean we all do. And we all beat ourselves up over it... way more then we need to. Because looking back on my childhood, I'm sure that there were times when my mom felt less then perfect... and beat herself up about how she did (or didn't) do something... but I cant think of one time that I remember thinking "wow my mom blew it!' To me, mom was a super mom and was that 'perfect' mom. So I guess that's just something I'll have to remember for the next 18 (plus) years... that even though I think I may be screwing up, Mallory (hopefully) will think that I'm perfect!

Weeks 14 AND 15

Week 14 came and went and now week 15 is almost over! Time is flying by… how is it, that as we get older time goes faster? Beats me. So during week 14 our new little one was about 3 ½ inches long (about the size of the tape measure that I have been using to find all my garage items).

Week 15 little BB has grown another half inch and is 4 inches long now (head to rump… not counting its little legs)! Roughly the length of this ¼ inch wide drill bit. During this week lanugo (the fine hair that covers our baby) is growing all over, keeping him/her nice and warm. Its head and eyebrow hair is also starting to sprout. Its little legs are now longer then its arms in addition, its body it now more proportional to its head size. A fun little fact is that this week BB is developing taste buds… not that the urine-filled amniotic fluid that its floating in is supper appetizing… but there is some thought that it can start to get a taste of the flavors that I am eating. BB, let me introduce you to chocolate. Chocolate, this is BB. Get to know each other, you will be good, good friends.

Horrible!!!!!

I'm not writing this with the intention of freaking anyone out, I just want to remember that this, and when it happened.

My mom made Mallory this beautiful multi-colored non-traditional knit blanket before Mallory was even born. She has used it almost exclusively since she was about a month old (since 'they' say if you have to use blankets in the crib, they should be knit, since babies are much less likely to suffocate with a knit blanket). So that's what we did. She has LOVED, LOVED, LOVED this blanket, and carries it around in the mornings and snuggles with it at night. Too cute.

Last night after our nightly routine and our night-time prayers we put Mallory to bed a little early (because she was sooooooo sleepy), she didn't fall asleep right away though, and happily talked to herself for about 20 minutes. Then she started crying. Both Matthew and I thought it was strange, but let her cry for a few more seconds before the cry turned into a blood-curdling scream. I grabbed her water (thinking that maybe she was just supper thirsty after all that talking).

I walked into her dark bedroom and could see Mallory standing up in her crib screaming (even when I walked in). I reached down to pick her up and noticed that, like normal she had her blanket with her. While holding her, I tried to move her blanket out of the way (to offer her some water), and realized that the blanket wouldn't move! I immediately flipped on the light and that's when I realized that parts of the blanket had been pulled apart and were wrapped around her neck! Mallory, over the past 20 minuets, had managed to pull and stretch a few of the pieces of yarn out of the blanket and pulled them long enough to wrap around her neck, under her arm-pit and the wrap ONE MORE TIME around her neck! She was pulling at the yarn so hard that she was leaving multiple thin red/purple ligature marks on her neck!!!!!!!

My heart fell into my stomach as I rushed to grab the scissors, my mind racing, and landing on the fact that Mallory could have very easily just strangled herself! I was actually able to just unwind the yarn from around her neck (since she wasn’t blue in the face). It was just heartbreaking seeing the tears stream down her face, the fear in her eyes and the marks on her neck!!!!! I was on such an adrenaline high and couldn't stop hugging and kissing my little girl. Things like that make you remember just how fragile and precious life is and how literally, in an instant it can all change!!!!

Thank goodness God has assigned a few extra angles to watch Mallory (knowing that this little girl is bound to get into all sorts of trouble)!

Mallory was fine for the rest of the night and went right to sleep. I couldn’t help but check in on her multiple times before I went to bed… just to try and ease my mind.

Bing, Bling

For the past 2 years I haven’t been wearing my original engagement ring (sad). The reason being, was that the center diamond fell out once (luckily my dad found it in the carpet… thanks dad!) and came loose 3 other times! I finally got fed up and just stopped wearing it. Now for the past 2 years I have been mistaken countless times for Matthews girlfriend (since I didn’t have a ring on my finger). That was really annoying… especially when I was WAAAAAAAY Prego and felt like people were thinking, ‘hussy.’ Last birthday Matthew told me that he had saved some money so that we could get me a newly designed ring!!!! Woohoo! Then thanks to Lindsay, we found my PERFECT ring!!!! So the original went with Lindsay to Oregon and she set to work, getting the diamonds swapped, gold melted, and the ring made. After a long but well worth it wait, the ring arrived yesterday! I love it! It’s perfect! It’s just what I wanted! Thank you to all that were involved!

BB's a Baby!

Matthew and I literally just got back from our first Kaiser baby doctor appointment! It went great! Our little BB no longer looks like a gummy-bear, it actually looks like a human baby. It was all wiggly and perfect. During the ultrasound it started sucking its thumb! We could see all the other fingers curled by its mouth and its little tongue going a mile-a-minute! Too cute!!!! Everything looks perfect (as of now). Just like with Mallory we aren't doing any of the testing... figuring that we are going to be supper excited with whatever God gives us. There is still a HUGE discrepancy in the size/my due date... According to its head (which is the measurement they go with after 12 weeks) I would be 14 weeks 2 days (due on Feb 29th... Leap year day), but according to it's length I would be due March 8th. So at this stage it either has a big head or a short body. So the Dr. is still going with March 3rd. :)

Life's A Beach

Monday was a wonderful day! I had the day off, Russell was still in town, Mallory’s teeth were almost totally broken through and Matthew had a long lunch! So the four of us took advantage of the perfect day and drove to the coast for lunch. We stopped and had fresh clam chowder in a bead bowl (Mallory loved the bread, not so much the chowder). After lunch Matthew then headed back to work (poor guy) while Russell, Mallory and I drove on to Salmon Beach. It was perfect. The sun was warm, a little breeze, the sand was toasty and the waves were ideal. At first Mallory was just having a field day playing in the sand. She would stand up, take a few steps, then fearlessly fall straight back into the sand. She would just roll and roll in it, occasionally sticking her tongue out to taste the sand (hey I get it… if it’s that much fun to play in, it’s got to taste good too, right?). Her face was always priceless after the fact… her nose, lips and tongue all covered with a thick layer of sand. Soooooo Funny! Then she noticed the ocean. It was like a light-bulb got flicked as she realized that the waves were actually water… then the ‘fun’ began. How can something so little be so fast and strong???? She wanted to just walk out into the ocean. It didn’t matter that it was supper cold or deep or that she can’t swim. It was water, which meant she should go in it. And once this girl has an idea in her head there’s practically no stopping her. Finally after countless times of trying to bring her back from the waves/out of the water we just left. It was easier that way. It was nap time anyway (for me, not her).

Week 13

Before I get too far behind in the week, here is week 13: Our little BB is about the size of a 3 inch outdoor screw and now weighs about an ounce. Its little organs are now all inside its abdomen (hopefully) and it is developing ribs. Bone is replacing cartilage and our little one has defined fingerprints AND genitalia now.
Mallory is starting to understand that there is a baby coming… well, as much as a 13 month old can understand that concept. It’s really cute, if you ask her where the baby is she’ll come over and lift up my shirt and kiss my belly. That being said, she is also wanting to lift up other peoples shirts and kiss their belly too (hey you just never know who might have a baby in there…. Daddy, grandma, babysitters, other babies…. Might as well kiss them all).

Week 12 (is almost over)

Little B.B is steadily growing! Week 11 it was 2 inches, about the size of a master-lock key, this week B.B is about 2 ½ inches, roughly the size of a master-lock! At the three month mark most of the internal organs are now fully formed and startling to function, so now we start the long process of maturation. Some of organs are still outside the body wall, so they are slowly working their way inside. B.B now has reflexes, and can start to respond to pressure put on my abdomen (not that I can feel the little sucker yet) along with opening and closing its hands, and mouth and wiggling its toes.

Another First

I had yet another parenting first this weekend. One that I really could have done without! Matthew was still at a friend’s b-day party so I was getting our little lady all ready for bed by myself. No big deal, right? I do it with about once a week. We have a pretty regimented routine: Bath, reading, p.j’s, snuggle, prayers/signing, bed. Easy-peasy… and most of the time it is, until you throw in a monkey wrench.
Mallory LOVES bath time, rarely is she the one who wants to get out, but it’s more of us being tired of sitting there watching her. Such was the case on Saturday. My bum was getting tired of sitting on the world’s most uncomfortable bath-stool so I help Malory pick up most of the bath toys and I pulled the plug on the water. I turned to grad her towel…. When I turned around (seconds later) she had THREE floating, brown friends with her in the tub! SHE POOPED IN THE TUB! Luckily she didn’t seem to notice them and had left them alone. I pulled her out, rinsed her off and set her down beside the tub. Now giant wads of toilet paper and I made mad dashes at the slippery ‘friends’ so that I could get them out before they became mashed in the drain. Ever the copy cat, Mallory kept trying to reach over the edge and grab them too. So now I have one had full of soggy toilet paper and poo, the other hand was lifting the lid of the toilet/trying to keep poo-water drops from splattering everywhere, so I have to use my foot and legs to keep a wet/slippery baby from both falling back in the tub and from grabbing her poo. It was quite the adventure! After bleaching down the tub and remaining bath toys, the rest of bed-time was relatively uneventful… Thank goodness!!!! Got to love parenthood!

Thumbs Up

Ok, I want you to give yourself a good ol' fashion Thumbs up! Go on, do it. Thanks! Now not only have you given yourself a little self-induced positivity this morning, but you have also seen how big B.B is. I've been a slacker and haven't taken a week 11 picture yet (even though it's now almost over). But B.B is about the size of an average thumb (so for you outliers with big or small thumbs you rs don't count... go find someones elses thumb to look at). The little one is about 2 inches long and is now able to kick and throw punches in it's little warm water world. It can also swallow! And as of now, it's 'little' head it about HALF the length of its body. So fun.

Work Update

I just realized that I haven’t given you all a work update…. And last you knew ‘work was work’. Well, that is no longer the case. I can’t tell you how much fun/mentally stimulating work is! Now, in hind site I realize that God truly did have a reason behind what I felt like at the time was a horrible/hopeless situation. The caliber of medicine that I know get to practice is phenomenal! (Not to toot my own horn… but, Toot, Toot). The tests that these clients allow me to run are out of this world, the things I’m learning and cases I’m seeing are more then I had ever dreamed of!!!!! I feel like I am getting to practice the quality of medicine that I have heard all my classmates talk about!
So now looking back I am flabbergasted by the fact that I COULD have stayed at the original hospital that felt ‘comfortable’ due to how familiar it was and never would have realized how much MORE I could be/do…. And I would have been ok with at (6 months ago)… but now, when just the other day someone mentioned that ‘maybe you could work back for Dr. Dave in the future’ the first thing I thought was I will NEVER go back to practicing that sort of medicine. Not that its bad medicine, it’s just not how I want to practice any longer. You know? I do have to pay credit to Dr. Dave though; HE gave me the foot-in-the-door that I needed to break into the small animal world, so I have to thank him for that… But now I feel as though I have spread my wings and am finally learning just how much I am capable of! It is an electrifying feeling! So YES, I am LOVING work again!

1th Dr. Apt.

I had my first baby doctor appointment last week for little B.B. It went great! According to ‘them’ I am currently due anywhere from March 3rd to march 8th. Not really sure what date to go with. (March 3rd sounds better to me, since its sooner).
With that in mind here are the week 10 stats (yup, I’m already a ¼ of the way finished)…
Little B.B is about a 1 ½ inches long (roughly the size of a large paper clip). Its little bones and cartilage are growing and tooth buds are forming, along with hair and fingernails. B.B’s inner ear is now working, which means it can hear! Sooooo fun. It can bend at the elbow and has distinct fingers (no more webbing). Its ‘basic’ brain divisions are also present…. And when I say ‘basic’ I mean highly advanced and very, very smart!
I can’t believe how much quicker this pregnancy is happening. I already have a baby bump going on and I am putting on weight like it’s a race (guess what, I win)! Uhgggggg!

This pregnancy has been quite different so far, I was sick! I mean vomiting sick for about 3 weeks. Just the sight or the image of meat would bring it on. I still don’t feel wonderful, but at least it’s just a dry heave every now and again. I have been breaking out like crazy (I feel like a teenager) and I’m MUCH more moody then with Mallory. Matthew walked in to the kitchen a few weeks ago and there I was, sobbing! All by my self, just crying! He asked me why I was crying and my tearful reply was “I (sob) don’t (sob) know” sniff, sniff! Some people are speculating that all these ‘new’ events mean that I’m having a boy…. But on the other hand I keep hearing that ‘every pregnancy is different’ even if it’s the same gender. So for those of you with gender duplicates, what do you think?

humpty Dumpty

I hope this video works…

Our Fish

Starting this past Monday Mallory started swim lesions! It’s been a blast! It’s a half hour class every night (kind of long, since after about 20 minuets Mallory has pretty much lost interest in it). Matthew and I are both able to go with her since we purposely signed her up for the 7-7:30 lesions. It’s fun, we sing song and do little dances and have just some free ‘swim’ time. Mallory’s favorite part is the Humpty Dumpty song, where she gets to fall back into the water/our arms. She’s so funny. I’ll TRY and post a little video of it. Oh, and yes, that last picture is of Matthew trying to keep Mallory from drowning…along with himself!

In trying to organize for the all-to-fast approaching arrival of B.B Matthew and I are working on making use of the limited space that our sweet little house gives us. We added an extra shelf in the kitchen (which is helping), and our next project has been to move all of the stuff out of the ‘guest’ room, so it can be transformed into Mallory’s new big-girl room!!!! But in order to do that we needed to make/find room to up ALL that stuff. We started by realizing that our closet was where a tone of it would end up, so with that in mind we knew we needed to re-do our walk-in. Matthew and I designed what we wanted (it turns out it would cost us about $700 bucks for a custom-ordered closet system) YICKS! Not going to happen! But my very hand hubby and father-in-law thought that we could do it. And we did! It took about a day and a half and only about $200! It turned out great! And it fits ALL our stuff! Clothes, jackets, wine, and random stuff. PERFECT!

Twitch

I think that I am feeling a little stressed. Starting 5 days ago my right lower eyelid started twitching!!!! It's driving me crazy. Yeah, stress and the poor quality of sleep has got to be playing a roll is my spastic eye (since I can't blame it on caffeine or alcohol). What I hate the most is when it happens while I'm in an exam room and I try to carry on, hoping that the client doesn't notice.
Not really sure how I can relax and make the twitching stop. I think maybe I should cash in my gift certificate for a massage.... maybe that would help!!!!

Camping

We had a blast camping! I think there were about 24 of us total in 7 site at the Hendy Woods campground. Mallory LOVED camping. She’s such an outdoors-y gal that she had the time of her life walking around, picking up stick and leaves and getting REALLY dirty. The weather was nice (a little cool… for me…. But then when isn’t it a little cool for me?) The grand’s all had a blast playing with Mallory and she loved the attention. She got loads of pumps/scrapes and bruises, but she didn’t really seem to care. There was always soothing to distract her from her little tumbles.
The birthday celebrations went well. Mallory tore into her cake like a pro.
Though I think we are all still trying to recover from all the sugar and lack of sleep!!!!
Thanks to everyone who were able to make it. Can’t wait to do it again!!!!!

Food Snob

Somehow keeping the blog updated has slipped to really low on my priority list… sorry! I have loads to catch you all up on, Mallory’s family b-day gathering, the camping trip for Mallory’s 1st and Matthews 30th b-day, both of their actual b-day days (Matthew’s is tomorrow) and a update on the little B.B. Frustratingly my new (ish) camera (yeah the one I got 7 months ago and have already sent back of 1 repair), is on it’s way BACK to the shop! I’m so pissed about it! I spent a nice little chunk of change on it, so that I would like the pictures… and what do I get? A camera that is a lemon! Grrrrrrr. So I guess what I’m trying to get at is, even though I have been using my spare camera for the past little bit, I don’t know where the adapter is for it, so I don’t know when I can get picture from all these evens onto my computer… and we all know a story without pictures it just not as good. In all my spare time I’ll look for the plug… but don’t hold you breathe.
Therefore let me tell you about the Food Snob that Matthew and I are raising. Babies aren’t supposed to have nuts/peanut butter until they are about a year, an event I was really looking forward to. I love peanut butter! I mean I LOVE it! On just about anything. So I was really excited to share this love with Mallory. So for lunch the other day I made each of us a PB and J. I pulled out all the stops, good peanut butter, homemade peach jelly, yummy bread….The perfect quantity of each ingredient.
She hated it! Really! The little lady who will eat just about anything, hated her PB and J! That night Aaron came over for diner and brought some fresh goat cheese for appetizers. Our little food snob hated PB and J’s but couldn’t get enough of goat cheese! All I could do was shake my head. Silly baby.

Week 6

During my first pregnancy, I was SURE that I was going to have a boy…. Boy was I wrong! So I got to thinking, all through that pregnancy I was comparing the size of the baby to fruits/veggies…. But what self respecting boy wants to be compared to a plumb, a raspberry, or worse a rhubarb stalk! So of course the baby turned out to be a girl! Sweet Mallory Rose. It only makes sense. This time, in order to potentially ‘help’ the gender determination I thought I would go with ‘Garage-type things’ to compare the baby to. Not that we both wouldn’t be thrilled to have another girl, we are having such a blast with Mallory that we would love it, but who doesn’t dream of having a girl and a boy? Once again we are not going to find out the gender until delivery, so we’ll all just have to speculate for the next 34 weeks.
Last week the little B.B. was roughly 0.13 inches long… about the size of a sliver of wood that you would find on your garage floor. :)


This week our little B.B. is 0.25 inches long… exactly the same size as a #6 zinc plated Internal Tooth Lock Washer (of course). In reality it looks more like a tadpole then a human, but has already started to develop the cups that will house its eyeballs, its heart is beating despite the fact that it is only about the size of a poppy!


Mallory on the other hand is about to turn 1!!!!!! Just 5 more days then my little baby girl has her first birthday!!!!! It’s hard to believe. She is now walking EVERYWHERE. There is no reason for her to crawl. Chase is one of her favorite games right now, and if you act like you are going to chase her, she gets sooooo ridiculously excited, she’ll try to run but her feet just don’t more that quickly yet, and she’ll end up falling. It cracks me up. It actually looks really similar to when a cartoons gears up for a fast run/chase by their legs going a million miles a minute while there body sands still….That’s what our little girl looks like… until she falls.

I'm WHAT?

So the despite the fact that Matthew and I were hoping for/ wanting another baby and we are very much aware of the fact that unprotected S-E-X (I thought I would spell in incase kids are in the room) leads to babies… I was shocked when I turned up pregnant! ‘How?’ you are asking… I don’t know. I mean it’s like I didn’t think that it would really happen…. Again… or SO quickly! So when I had the slightest inkling that I just might be knocked up, I peed on a stick. The FAINTEST of 2 lines showed up. Wow, I thought, I guess I’m pregnant…. Then I went into denial and just had to pee on another one the next day (the line was a little darker). Still I wasn’t convinced, (for what reason I don’t know). So after waiting 3 LOOOOOOOOOOONG days I couldn’t stand it any more and peed on yet another one. Yep, both lines were still there... and darker. Matthew got all gooey and excited, while the realization that I am going to have 2 babies about 19 months apart hit me like a ton of brinks! 2 sets of diapers! 2 kids that can’t talk! 2 kids that can’t dress themselves or even feed themselves. What was I thinking?! I just started a new job! Am I crazy? Why would I choose to put myself through this? After about a half day of internal panicking I started getting more and more excited. I can do this! Mallory is such a big girl already. Matthews such a great dad! Both sets of parents are here! This is going to be just fine. Then I started thinking that maybe, just maybe I somehow read all 3 tests wrong and I wanted to make sure that I truly was pregnant (especially before we told the grands)… so you guessed it, I peed on yet again one more test! Yup 4 total (I only needed 3 the first time around). All saying the same thing. I am growing a baby inside me… again…. And I couldn’t be happier about it!!! :)