I had no idea that little Miss Mallory's food consumption was such a hot topic! But it seems like every time I see anyone, they ask about her latest and greatest food encounter. (I feel like shes a celebrity... you know how the magazines always talk about/analyze each bite of food that the rich and famous put into their mouth). So here's a little run down on the newest fad diet: "The Mal-Mal Diet" (for weight gain)
*5-8 ounces of warm breast milk ever 4-5 hours
*Vomit up about 1 ounce of it (just so you don't gain TOO much weight)
*One meal a day consisting of 3 ounces of home pureed food (Sweet potatoes, butternut squash, avocados, green beans, apple, pear, banana, rice cereal or oatmeal)
*Make sure that you smear about 1/5 of what you are eating onto your face and hands (That's how you keep that baby-soft skin).
*For desert you can have 3-4 ounces of warm breast milk and rice cereal mixed in a bottle.
*To burn calories don't forget to rub your feet back and forth over and over and over again until you create little balls on your socks and eventually push your socks right off.
*For optimum weight gain, be sure to fall asleep while eating at least one meal a day, but get really mad when the food/nipple is removed.
6 comments:
You are hilarious!!!!! :)
I laughed really hard. How do you think of these hilarious things. You need to write a mommy show/comedy act.
I am going to try the Mal-Mal diet starting today. Can I get breast milk from you please.
Sure! I produce enough! I think I am part dairy cow.... Mooooo!
LOLOLOL! I think that this is a winner!
hahaha, you two are rediculous, thanks for the daily entertainment :) How fun! We are two peas in a pod, I produce enough breast milk for about 50 people. I joke that I'm a great emergency food supply all on my own! :) (gross)
You are hilarious! I am with Janie...you need to be a comedian! I love your quick whit!
She's adorable....and apparently an entrepreneur. Do you need help publishing her new diet book?
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