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Monday, January 16, 2012

Blue

I’ve always heard about the Post-partum blues, but I’m pretty sure I have Pre-partum blues (if there is such a thing). For a week now I have just felt BLAH! So supper tired ALL the time, (probably due to the fact that between my 5 times a night pee trips, BB river-dancing inside me at all hours, Sonny wanting outside, then back in, Krush curling up near me and purring SOOOO loud and the occasional snoring husband), depressed over not getting to eat anything without the horrid side effect of heartburn that feels so bad that I may as well douse my esophagus in gasoline and light it on fire. I feel like Matthew and I aren’t close, I feel fat not pregnant, cooking takes too much effort, forget trying to clean (it’s just going to get dirty again), all I do is work and hang out with a toddler and I have had a head ach that won’t go away for almost 3 days now!!!! I feel like I need a break. (Like that’s going to happen with this little BB due in a matter of weeks. It’s a strange feeling, because I have SOOOOOOO much family around, but yet I feel very lonely. And then despite all their help/love/support I just kind of want to be on my own. I guess there are time (like now) that I miss my ME time. I am such an independent person that having to think about a husband, a toddler and an unborn (but ever present baby) is sometimes just too much. I’m sure that this feeling will probably go away in a matter of days… I just needed to complain about it… sometimes even just that seems to help. So thanks for listening.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dispite my overwhelming desire to "fix it", I won't try. I'll just tell you how amazing I find you and how beautiful you look. When ever I am around you, you bring me such joy and I so anticipate the little one you are bringing forth. In spite of all that is on your heart and mind, you remain such a joy to be around. I love you, Rosie, and I agree...that cleaning thing is WAY over rated!

Brianna said...

Jessie, I am with you in spirit! And, I can empathize with you. Given that, I know that saying you are certainly not fat and only have a tiny tummy protruding in such a cute way...will not help. From experience, I know that saying it will get easier in time....will not help. Because I've been there, I know that saying take some time for yourself (get a pedicure or foot massage...something foot related)...will not help. What might help is you knowing how much everyone loves you and that whenever you'd need it, a gaggle of family and friends would come rushing to your side. So remember that. And, one thing my mom told me over and over, "You can do anything for two months." In the grand scheme it's but a short time. But, for right now, it might feel like an eternity....wait, that definitely didn't help. I'll stop typing now.